Embracing Uncertainty

"Dig around in most of the world's great religious traditions and you find people finding their sense of grace by embracing uncertainty rather than trying to bury it in codified dogmas."

A taste of a longer article at NPR.org on embracing uncertainty.  Check it out.

Acting in Triplicate?

Seeing triple?


Michael Bluth (aka Jason Bateman)


Malcolm Reynolds (aka Nathan Fillion)


Marty McFly (aka Michael J. Fox)

Also, all of the characters names start with 'M'. Coincidence? I think not.

What it feels like to be white...

I'm starting to realize that if I'm going to write it's going to have to be intentional and sometimes forced if I want to write a lot (which I do). So here goes:

I've been dealing with a lot: trying to become part of a new culture, make new friends, create a new home, and learn the ways these things work around here. Before I moved to Buffalo I knew only a few things about it: that it snowed a lot and that it was a poor city. Being from the suburbs of Chicago, daughter of a upper-middle class white family, I didn't have very much interaction or experience with American poverty. Most of what I understand of poverty has come from international travel (mostly which has been service projects).

Buffalo is 1/3 poor, 1/2 black, and the office I work in is all men. As an upper-middle class white woman, that's a lot of difference, and I feel it every day.

My writing prompt for tonight is an essay I came across while reading the book Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti called White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh.

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McIntosh approached the issue of race through her relationship with male privilege. "If men want to deny (or do not accept) their privilege, there might be a similar situation with race," seems to be her initial thinking on exploring this issue:

"I think whites are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege, as males are taught not to recognize male privilege. So I have begun in an untutored way to ask what it is like to have white privilege. I have come to see white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets that I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was "meant" to remain oblivious."

Eventually her 'untutored way' resulted in a list of 50 effects of white privilege such as:

" 6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented."

and

"7. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is."

and

"21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group."

These specific and relatable examples really bring it home for me. It's fairly commonplace for me to hear privilege being talked about abstractly, philosophically, but I think it's rare to be framed in a way that I can reflect on in my daily life.

McIntosh later suggests that we could take a next step and distinguish between positive and negative advantages of privilege and become "distressed" when those negative (i.e. "unearned") advantages are apparent. Though, "[d]isapproving of the system won't be enough to change them."

"To redesign social systems," she writes, "we need first to acknowledge their colossal unseen dimensions."

Here is her conclusion:

"Although systemic change takes many decades, there are pressing questions for me and, I imagine, for some others like me if we raise our daily consciousness on the perquisites of being light-skinned. What will we do with such knowledge? As we know from watching men, it is an open question whether we will choose to use unearned advantage, and whether we will use any of our arbitrarily awarded power to try to reconstruct power systems on a broader base."

Perhaps we confused privileged whites can start by looking toward feminist men/allies who work daily to recognize unequal privilege among their peers.

For now, I'm at least getting used to feeling my race. When I'm the only white person on a bus half-full of people, I feel it. When I get looked at differently by police, I feel it. I'm starting to realize and break down judgments I have that arise in an unconscious/conditioned manner. Being underprivileged as part of my gender I feel that friction more and am more likely to speak out against it, and I will try to think about how to take these responses to dealing with racial and class privileges I experience here in Buffalo as well.

For the full article click here.

Other quotes I thought were good but I didn't integrate in the writing:

• "I began to count the ways in which I enjoy unearned skin privilege and have been conditioned into oblivion about its existence. My schooling gave me no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture."
• "The pressure to avoid it is great, for in facing it I must give up the myth of meritocracy."
• "Many, perhaps most, of our white students in the United States think that racism doesn't affect them because they are not people of color; they do not see "whiteness" as a racial identity."

AmeriCorps Motivational Statement

So I'm not bragging about this mediocre statement, but I haven't written anything in a while, so here goes. What follows is my personal statement for a position I'm applying for with AmeriCorps. Let me know what you think.

When I went to New Orleans, I felt self-actualized for the first time in my life. As a psychology student, I had read about self-actualization in textbooks and heard of it in lectures; I understood the concept well. But it wasn’t until I chose to spend my spring break in New Orleans helping with Hurricane Katrina relief efforts that I actually knew what self-actualization felt like.
I had put myself in an unfamiliar situation; I found myself in a van full of people I had just met (except for one friend) and strapped in for the 14-hour drive south. I had no idea what to expect, and I had just decided to go on this trip because other plans fell through. I’d have to say, though, that it was the best last-minute choice I’ve made in my life.
The first morning in New Orleans I met Jeremiah. He was the volunteer coordinator: the top of the hierarchy of people in charge of the place I was staying – a makeshift shelter in an abandoned warehouse serving as lodging for about 120 college kids on spring break. Jeremiah was one of the first people in my life who I felt believed in me, someone who recognized my skills and valued them.
I worked alongside Jeremiah coordinating volunteers, contacting residents about rebuilding or gutting, and staffing the volunteer center. To say it was uncharted ground for me would be an understatement. I had never been in such a position of leadership, nor entrusted with as much responsibility. I wrote press releases and helped coordinate a large press conference to occur after I left, things I had never done before. But I like to get my hands dirty. I like challenges. So I wouldn’t say I was afraid.
That spring break in New Orleans was also the first time I realized that I like working with people, a lot. I had done other service projects in the past, but until then I don’t think I would’ve recognized myself as passionate about working with others. It was a great feeling to know that I was working with so many others who had taken the time to come down and help out. We had felt a similar draw to devote our time to, and this became an instant bond.
Some of us are called to action when we learn about what goes on in the world, as we become aware of the amount of suffering that occurs to other humans, other living beings, and the planet itself. Individually, though, I think we are very limited. In other words, there is very little we can do in isolation, by ourselves. But once we start talking to people about our ideas and our passions, that changes. Following my passion of self-actualization and surrounding myself with people who radiate their own passion have been my guiding forces since New Orleans. Only by putting our heads together, learning about each other’s skills, and harnessing our passions can we begin to make an impact.