Social media

A few social media giants like Facebook and Twitter have claimed ownership of the term, “social media” and have written the first draft that guides most of our ideas about social networking and about socializing online.  Social media and social networking are vast ideas that are just beginning to blossom – and are doing so on very limited terms.

danah boyd speaks and writes about this, too:

“Give me one other part of history where everybody shows up to the same social space. Fragmentation is a more natural state of being.”

-- From http://www.theverge.com/2014/3/13/5488558/danah-boyd-interview-the-era-of-facebook-is-an-anomaly

Unfortunately, these social network mega-corporations have also had time to figure out how to use and harvest our social information for their own ends, like advertising and market research.  

Part of what I want to do is challenge this notion of megalithic social networking sites by introducing non-ego-centric networks.  In other words, I think there can be non-individualistic social networking -- social networking for the greater good rather than for myself.  We can look at these networks (of our friends, peer organizations, or any variation of any kind of entity that exists!) from a different level -- we can look at them from the perspective of a network and interact with them so much differently than we do on Facebook.  It's a little like social movement building -- thinking about key influencers and power brokers within the network.  It's a little like Malcolm Gladwell's ideas on how things spread and cause tipping points.

I also hold as a core belief that we can be social and use technology to connect us without getting stuck in it and without selling our data/information to gigantic companies.  I'd like to write more about this in the future!

Why I'm not a "pioneer"

I went to an event recently and someone tweeted about it at me afterwards, calling me a pioneer:

World changing pioneers! It's a @women2 @W2citymeetup #FF @activismo, @alizardx, @anadiazhernandz, @arilikeairy, @ArtfulAllie, @Avilesm
— Nicole Lazzaro (@NicoleLazzaro) May 2, 2014

I have a few thoughts.

1) First and foremost, I do appreciate the sentiment and good intentions that motivated the above tweet.  Pioneer generally has a positive slant in our society, so if I can just skim the good connotation off the substance, I will.  I'll take the cream off the top.  We generally applaud pioneers for their successes, knowing or seeing something first, and usually taking some action because of it.  Parts of me certainly would like to be part of this trend-setting group.

However, there are some less-desirable characteristics of the word that I wouldn't like to embody, and for those reasons, I don't identify as a pioneer.

2) The word pioneer, says Google, means:

Though I am part of U.S. settler colonialism, I don't seek to actively reify it.

3) I'm also not the first, nor only one ...probably doing anything.  There are countless people who have come before me and set forth ideas that have lead to my own.  To discount all of that work, thoughts thoughts, the labor, and the individuals before me is narrow-minded and...quite frankly self-centered.

So, nope, I'm not a pioneer.  I acknowledge those who have come before me, those who have helped me get to where I am now, and I am actively against reifying settler colonialism!

My response to GOOD blog post on women entrepreneurs

My mom sent me a link to this article: Don’t Just ‘Lean In’: 10 Ways Women Entrepreneurs and Leaders Should Take Action Now.  Which discusses a new social network, called Lean In, to support entrepreneurial women and then provides 10 tips.

Here are those 10:

• Stop talking about being a victim—words become beliefs that become reality. Be a positive voice in the gender conversation, and look for the gratitude and lessons in every situation.

• Smile and say “thank you” when complimented.

• Practice having honest and open dialogue—start with family or close friends and then move outwards. Be mindful of appropriateness, but eventually this kind of authentic vulnerability and boundary setting will feel seamless, natural, and empowering.

• Don’t wait for an invitation—ask for what you want. Nobody can read your mind, and life becomes much more fun when it’s interactive.

• Stop discrediting your achievements, and do not apologize your way out of the discomfort you feel as a result of your growth. Own it.

• If you’ve been talking about wanting to do something for a while, seek support and GO DO IT. Your taking action gives others permission to do the same.

• Set realistic expectations for yourself, and let go of the desire to be perfect. Watch as your frustrations with other people’s imperfections ease.

• If you feel competitive with another woman, reach out and offer to help her out. It’s amazing what counter-action (and a little kindness) can do to dissolve negative feelings. Do this for yourself—resentment is toxic only to the one harboring it.

• Stop obsessing and talking about your guilt. This self-centeredness stalls needed progress. Instead, use your emotions as a guidepost, allowing you to course-correct at anytime.

• Raise your hand, and keep it up.

Stop telling women to smile!

Frankly, I was put off by the assumptions that guide the 10 tips.  Like “stop being a victim” and “stop feeling guilty.”  I’m sure that: a) those aren’t the things that hold me back, and b) if they were, the author provides no guidance as to how to go about doing these things which wouldn’t help anybody feel better if they’re already feeling victimized (targeted) and guilty!
Oh, AND, this article makes no mention of the larger, systemic issues like patriarchy or how capitalism has been set up to privilege (white) men and undervalue women.  I’m not going to go in to that ball of wax here, but is central and should not be left out of this discussion.

The suggestions also remind me of a recent artist’s work against street harassment, called Stop Telling Women to Smile.

Oversimplified, cliche pop-psychology advice from a blog post isn’t going to change anything for female entrepreneurs.

On the other hand, the narrative part of the article that suggests building a support group of like-minded women (and maybe a few men), then addressing/discussing these items as a group, and sharing what actually works IS helpful.

Those bullets makes me feel like the author is stereotyping me, saying to stop doing something, and providing no path as to how to do so, completely devoid of the larger socio-cultural context.  I’m tired of that.

So here’s my bulleted list:

• Stop stereotyping women and provide meaningful, personal support before you make suggestions as to how we should live our lives, think about ourselves, and run our businesses.